What Labour Should Do to Help Ensure Brexit, and Win the Next General Election

As the Labour conference ends with a party seemingly more united and optimistic than it has been in many a long year, what should Labour do about the pressing issue of Brexit?

The question was, of course, rhetorical, and Labour should do nothing at all. In fact, it should keep its collective mouth shut and leave the government to continue making mistakes. Let the Tories take us out of the European Union, which is what most Labour voters want, and suffer as much internal damage in the process as possible, which is what Labour as a party should want.

Once we are free of the EU, Labour can then put forward some policy or other at the next general election that aims at closer links with the EU. The aim here would be to keep the Metropolitan, Guardian-reading, wankerati element happy and voting Labour.  Given that politically it is impossible for Labour to ever agree to free movement, the EU can be expected to reject those overtures. For its part, Labour can tell the wankerati that at least it tried and the failure can be placed at the door of Brussels.

Before doing that, of course, Labour will have tiptoed into office over the twitching corpse of the Tory Party, and with a bit of political luck, that corpse will not be able to crawl out of its coffin for many years to come. Labour could be in power for two or even three elections, which is time enough to wrench the political centre of gravity back to 1970s levels - especially if there is no real opposition.

Jeremy Corbyn seems to be following the say nothing much line, certainly if his leader's speech to the 2017 party conference was to be believed. He told the delegates that Labour wanted "unimpeded access to the single market" which is fine as that is also what the Tories want, so there is a broad consensus there.

 Earlier in the conference he had said: “I would also say that we need to look very carefully at the terms of our trade relationship, because at the moment we are a part of the single market and that has within it restrictions on state aid and state spending and pressures on it, through the European Union, to privatise rail and other services.”

In other words, there is plenty of Brexiteering wriggle room in Corbyn's statements and it is all a far cry from what the party's Federast element want which is full membership of the single market. The devil, as always is in those details.

So long as those details remain suitably vague, Labour can remain a Brexit party with a newish membership who are too thick to realise that they are being pulled by the short and curlies towards the exit. By the time that parasitic shower of local government placeholders who now infest the local Labour branches wake up to that fact we should be out of the EU. Then, as I said earlier,  Labour can toss them a bone or two with a pledge to try and improve relations with Brussels, and by the time they discover that Brussels is not interested it will be too late to do anything about it.

The polyocracy will feel like something that a dog has spewed up, but with any luck, by then Labour should have recreated its links to the workers who produce wealth by their labours and the buffoons with their crappy little poly degrees and puerile desire for status can be safely ignored.

Guest Posting: The Federast Assault on the Last Night of the Proms

 Tim Collard was one of our men in Peking for many years before becoming HM Consul-General in Hamburg until his retirement. He is fluent in both German and Mandarin and now forms a part of the Oxford Union in exile which meets up every Wednesday evening in an Edinburgh swill shop to discuss matters of great weight and drink beer.

I have tried, quite sincerely, to keep my participation in Brexit debates civil and non-inflammatory. As regards yesterday's march, such demonstrations are every bit as legitimate as Labour Party rallies after our recent election defeat.

But I do regard the anti-Brexit manifestations at the Last Night of the Proms as fair game. Wave your frigging twelve-star flags somewhere else. (Why doesn't someone start a fashion for cutting out one of the stars as a symbol of Brexit? If I get my hands on an EU flag I certainly will.) 

And some of the crap they talk! From the BBC: "A spokesman for EU Flags Proms Team told The Telegraph: 'During the Age of Enlightenment, Mozart, Handel and Bach all lived and worked for part of their lives in London. Presumably, under the Brexit dark ages, they would not be welcome.'"

Strangely enough, the Treaty of Rome was not in force during the eighteenth century. And that Enlightenment century began with the War of the Spanish Succession, proceeded via the Wars of Jenkins' Ear and the Austrian Succession to the Seven Years' War, throughout much of which, especially the last, Britain sat back rubbing its hands while grabbing colonies left, right and centre. The century ended with the French Revolutionary Wars and the emergence of Napoleon. Meanwhile, Bach, Handel and Mozart were able to sit happily in London doing their thang with no interference from either British immigration or Greater Luxembourg. Sure, they tended not to provoke the natives by whingeing about the right of free movement - they just exercised it.

Out of respect for my many friends who disagree rationally with me on Brexit, I try to refrain from using words like "Remoaners", but it's a bit of a tough call sometimes.

For the record, the Guardian is now having the vapours over the whole idea of the Promenade Concerts, especially the last night. Also for the record, Tim should know that we do not call these scumsuckers "Remoaners," we call them "Federasts."

The Federast March in London Greeted With Indifference

The Federasts had a march in London today and as you can see from this placard, they wanted us to know how diverse they all are.

Except there is nothing diverse about these sexually self-sufficient wallys. What happened today was that a few well-fed, well-clothed, well-paid, White Middle-Class North Londoners went for a stroll. 

There were no counter demonstrations organised, the police were not put on full, thuggish alert as they were during the Poll Tax riots or the miners' strike.

There was no need for any of that as these tossers pose no threat to anyone. On Monday Jeremy will go back to his non-job and Jemima will take the little scrotes to their nurseries before popping off to have lunch with her chums.

As even the Guardian had to admit, this shower was "a largely white, often self-admittedly middle class one" and as such it can be ignored by the bulk of the British people.

Which is as it should be.